the real reason...... moving on

i was studying halfway today and i suddenly feel very guilty, this is why.....

last Friday night suppose to be my friends birthday party, we were invited to her party, but we didn't went to her party, instead we were in KL that nite. partly maybe because of my friend's influence. but mostly its because of me..

Well, most probably because i don't want to meet some person at the party, i feel really sorry for my friend because i lied to her and didn't even tell her the real reason why i never attend her b' day party. So i am telling the truth now in this post the real reason that i didn't attend her party.

but before that, i just want to apologize to her on behalf of me and sotong and his bro for not attending your birthday party. the real reason is that we really never went was sotong don't want to see his ex' there and i don't want to see (you know who ) there la. so we have to keep up to our word, that evening we decided to go to ipoh for chicken rice but some out turn out to be in KL for the night.

we spent one night there and came back the next morning. the point is, we are just too crazy enough to do so and just because we don't want to attend some party because of someone. Now i realise that it is not worth a dime to do it. Any way i am happy with our sudden trip down to KL, so i really don't mind, but the next time i promise myself that i am going to attend any function no matter my enemy is attending it or not.

i am very disappointed with what someone had done to me over the pass few week, where i thought everything will settle down after confronting that person, but in the end it made me more confused and sad person. so i have decided to move on with my life and just ignore the existence of this person.

i have done too many stuff for that person ,and end up that the person don't know how to appreciate me and always let me down, i think i better just let go of the person. No use that we hold on to some one that don't know how to appreciate us. and i really don't know where i stand with that person now.. (the saddest part) moving on with my life is the only thing i should do now cause i don't think i can solve this problem anymore if only one side is trying..

Upon being in KL , i told myself that i need to be a new man when i reach Penang. therefore a better man i should be starting today and leave the past behind me and just take it as a lesson of life for me. wish me all the best and hope i will find someone that will appreciate me in the future.

ok, back to study..

bye bloggie (vivi)

blur la me (pening)

today i am very blur, seriously blur, i don't know why my head hurt so much? i will suddenly feel very down( means into depression mode). then start to think nonsense again. OWH... i seriously don't like this feeling. Maybe because i had not enough sleep? i don't think so la, cause this morning i was so fresh. i think it's because of an issue running through my head for a very long time d. It had been striking my mind for few months d. Then after that i manage to control it and it only strike me once in a week. But recently it have been striking me very often and i really cannot stand it anymore. Well i still cannot decide what to do this time. Last time i handle this issue, i remember i went out at night to somewhere calm or just drive across the island to find some peacefulness. (orang gila ). well i think i still have to do the same thing since i will never put my guts together to face this issue and better more settle the 'Issue'.

well this is life la, everything doesn't go the way we want it to be. We will alway get partially what we ask for only. But still the main issue here is we all still need to grow up. Maybe i will find a way to solve this issue in few years time. I just hope that i can still hold on till that long. by the way i see it, it is really tearing me apart. how am i going to be Dr. bala if I can't even control this matter.. HAIZ..

this is my story for today.
good night blog( vivi)
Bal@nation

the last tings we done together...

Well, I will remember everything that we have done together. this are the last things that we have done together while you are in Penang, Malaysia.

Our last clubbing in MOIS. (lembu sleeping on the sofa)



Our last group photo (Atap Cafe group photo during prom night)



Our last hotel stay with friends ( G-Hotel room posing)



Our last Movie together ( Indiana Jones the latest one)



Our last dinner in Ananda Bahgawan ( your dad's birthday)



Our Last visit to Kampar.. ( your funny post/ the last time taking bus there)



our last celebration together ( Deepavali 2007)



The last time we study together. ( biology beside grand's house drain) smelly!



Our last boost together with our cousins and friend ( in Sri-Sayang service apartment)



our last time hanging out together (in your sister's car)

good bye kesha. will miss you.

Today me and my family went to the airport to send off my cousin, kesha, that is going to study in Australia. The plane departure penang airport at 9. 15 pm and she will reach Singapore about one hour later, then from Singapore straight to Melbourne, studying her foundation there and majoring in her nursing later. we wish all the best for her in her studies and life and a safe journey there..



by, bala ( your cousin)